Mistake or Make?

Like most everyone I have slowly grown into myself.  Over the years, although more so when I was younger, the quest for self-discovery has lead to some mistakes.  Having made mistakes, I then had to prove to myself and others that the mistakes were not the sum of me.  I had to prove that I mattered.

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(click PRAYER)

There are various things that people do to soothe their anxious feelings, which in the long run only serves to temporarily distract us from our inner lives.  Distraction never heals.  I once heard a junkie comment, “I don’t even get high from it anymore; I do it to just maintain some kind of balance.”  Maybe that is what we all strive for; some sense of equilibrium in our inner lives.  At some point in my life I had to stop running from my mistakes and stop defining myself by my mistakes, by what I had not done right.  This meant that I had to change how I looked upon my mistakes.

I came to believe that my mistakes don’t define me as a failure.  I understand while not setting out to make it, that a mistake is actually an important lesson, a way of learning where that one step beyond the edge of the cliff is.  While I have never set out to make a mistake, viewing them in this different light has enabled me to understand them as helping me to see who I don’t want to be.  So oddly enough instead of running from myself my mistakes have helped me to choose myselfA mistake actually helps make me wiser!

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(click WAILUA)

With the years, more experience and some hard-won wisdom has come a certain acceptance of myself which is not the same thing as passivity.  Instead of trying to prove to others that I matter I now know that I do matter to myselfThat realization has brought peace.  I have often heard that God can do great things with imperfect tools.  Over the years I have come to accept in a healthy way that I am just a hand trowel in the potting shed.  And that’s now okay!

 Kahuna-pule Kimo

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