In 2007 I spent two weeks on Kauai by myself. Having heard Waimea Canyon was dubbed the “Grand Canyon of the Pacific” after checking into my rooms the very next thing that I did was to jump into the car and drive to the Canyon. There were few people there when I arrived and when I walked up to the rail at the overlook the word “Whoa!” was literally pulled out of me! The sight of it and my internal reaction was so profound that I returned to the Canyon three more times during that two week Kauai visit! (click any pics for larger!)
Each time I went to the Canyon I left my cottage early in order to reach the overlook by around 8am since there were no buses, few people or cars there at that early hour! On the third visit my reverie and solitude evaporated upon the arrival of an arguing couple! From the moment they opened their car doors to get out until they slammed those doors closed to leave, they bickered and sniped non-stop! They seemed to be completely unconcerned by my presence. It was both repelling and fascinating, like an accident that one just can’t turn away from!
When they departed they left me pondering the difficulty of relationships. Had they always been like this? Who would ever choose to be in a relationship with someone they so disliked? Had there ever been a chance for love in their relationship? Sometimes we hold other people’s obvious faults as evidence and reasons why we ourselves don’t need to heal and get better! It’s always the other person. When we don’t want to grow we can find the most incredible excuses for remaining dysfunctional! At such times it seems that we would rather remain the devil that we know rather than engaging in all the unknowns involved in healing and becoming the angel we do not yet know.
No doubt about it, relationships demand much of us and sometimes we find it difficult to be better than we have been, to react differently than we usually do and to embrace letting go of other’s past offenses, both real and imagined! Sometimes we seem unconsciously determined to derail any relationship that demands that we change, that we become who we have not yet been! I have often wondered about that quarreling couple, about what happened after they drove away and taking their relational thunderheads with them! Did their storm ever blow over? Or did it finally explode, laying waste to any chance for love?
Kahuna-pule Kimo
Great post.
I find, too, that there is a part of me that actually likes disliking them, using it as a kind of mental and emotional cocktail, feeling better about myself that at least I’m not like THEM.
Spiritual sobriety, then, for me, is learning to ignore that old habit, and build a new one in its place.
It is so easy to be bad, so much harder to be good!
Kahuna-pule Kimo
Cool observation. Wonder what people think when they see my family. 🙂
http://www.mainlandkamaainas.com
When they see your family my feeling is they probably see the true meaning of Ohana! From the pictures of your kids on your blog, I’d say Happy Hawaiian Kids = all the right stuff!
Kahuna-pule Kimo
Thanks for the compliment ~ hopefully they do. There are some days though. . . . . . 🙂
Ahh, yes, but if your kupuna had not given you so much wisdom, just imagine where you’d be!
Kahuna-pule Kimo