Many people seek out patterns which help to orient themselves. On Monday they do the laundry, on Tuesday they do the banking, etc. There is a measure of comfort in things remaining as they have been even if they’re not so great. However, when we always know what to expect then a part of us goes away. For many people the new idea comes when they wake up and say, “You know, this just isn’t working.” It could be about a relationship or one’s job, the apartment, the car or whatever. In this moment something registers deeply that the individual has resisted recognizing… something has to change!
The funny thing about change is that while we want things to be different we often want them to be different in the same old way. The older we become the more we resist change. When I was around 16 years old my great-Aunt Alice who was around 80 at that time (she lived to be 103) had to move from the family home in which she had lived for 65 years. She sold the house, rented a 7-room apartment in the same neighborhood and had my father and I spend an entire weekend painting every single room the same salmon pink color that had been everywhere in the old house! To this day I automatically recoil when I see that color! The point is that even though life was making her change address she simply turned her new life into a copy of the old one!
A crisis is the moment when you realize that things are going to change whether or not you change along with them! Most of us view a crisis as something bad, as the sign that something is going very wrong. However another approach is to view a crisis as an opportunity. A crisis is the opportunity to stop being who we have become used to being and to become who we have always dreamed of being! A crisis is the chance to establish new routines which will take us in the direction which we have yearned for such a long time. A crisis can be the moment when everything, including you, becomes new again! When our life hurts enough we will hear crisis knocking at our door. Take a deep breath and open it!