We humans are a strange species! We are capable of self-LESS-ness as well as self-ISH-ness. We are able to be kind as well as determined to be cruel. We are petty as well as magnanimous. Each of us is capable of being one thing and then its opposite all within the same lifetime if not even within the same day! When we are young we feel certain that there is plenty of time to become our better self. When we are older we are certain there is not enough time to become all that we desire to be, our desires outstripping several lifetimes!
By the time we reach “old age” some of us have mellowed, having let go of indulgence in negative emotions. On the other hand some have held onto an ongoing grudge for fifty years, nurturing and indulging it. This enables it to grow up around the heart like a thorny garden until the day one suddenly realizes that there is no way out of that garden of hate. Curious, isn’t it, that through the choices we make in our living we can end up as exactly the kind of person we mocked when we were young?
Choices matter! Choices are roads along which we travel, which take us to who we will become. Even while we can repent of choices previously made we will always be the one whose heart wanted them. Some of our choices can awaken our heart to dark desires being nurtured within its unexamined darkness. The trick is to learn from our choices, to let even the bad ones somehow inform the ones we are about to make today!