It goes all the way back to childhood… “Did you break that window?” “No,” you lie. “Well then how did it get broken?” To cover up the first lie you lie again and say, “I don’t know. Maybe a bird flew into it?” The lies that we tell in order to get out of the lies that we told! Why do we think that we don’t have to face up to reality? Why do we think there will be no consequences for our refusal to deal with what distresses us? Every time that we outright lie we teach ourselves to not see things that we don’t want to have to see which produces a spiritual, emotional, and moral blindness within us.
At the heart of many addictions or obsessions is the desire to not see or face painful feelings. The substance itself to which the person is addicted or obsesses about is merely an expression of the desire to be blind to something else. And yet life demands that we make decisions. When we become co-conspirators in our own blindness then we complicate the decision-making process. We hide from ourselves part of the information that we need in order to make the best decision for our life. We sort-of become a used-car salesman trying to sell ourselves a car that has been involved in a crash which despite how nice the car looks has weakened the frame (and we never tell ourselves about the crash).
Sometimes we are so strongly attracted to a person on every level that we are willing to ignore manifestations indicating they do not feel the same way about us. Eventually the moment comes when they say, “Look, I just don’t feel that way about you.” We are blindsided by this revelation! At that moment our sense of rejection and despair becomes as unrealistic as what we wanted from the other person in the first place! Why? Because we have never taught our emotions to grow up, to face reality, to see what IS no matter how we feel about what we see. It simply does not pay to ignore what distresses us. What we ignore will eventually bite us one way or another, at one time or another. Or again. And again! Until we choose to see!