I met for coffee with Jacob whose long-term relationship had just suddenly ended. Trying to bolster Jacob’s feelings I jovially offered, “So, now you’re free!” Jacob looked up from his coffee and morosely replied, “No, I’m not. What I am is lost.” Then I asked, “Were you ever happy in the relationship?” Jacob took a moment to think and then replied, “I was but then the happiness changed somehow.” Happiness and relationships have a way of morphing! What used to make us happy now leaves us empty and what once satisfied us now doesn’t! What is going on?
We are insisting that happiness comes in only ONE model sort of like a toddler insisting since he loves peas he will always love peas! Well Life often doesn’t work that way! Things change and we need to learn to love the changing! If we don’t learn to love the change that occurs throughout Life then we will indeed feel lost! Everything that is alive will change whether it is a seedling, one’s taste in food or relationships. In the changing Life may leave us behind! Take for example one’s long-term Dream whatever that might be. We make a mistake when we overly focus on arriving at the destination and in so doing we lose sight of the “becoming” part! The Journey and how we take it is in many instances more important than getting there! In other words how we take the journey really has more to do with the Dream than we realize!
One of the keys for enjoying the Journey is our willingness to embrace steps that seem to be less than what the Dream requires but which nonetheless moves us in the right direction. And as we take those steps we must allow our vision of the Dream to change and morph as well. The fact is that as we take the journey the Dream changes the Dreamer! As we take the journey toward the Dream our understanding of it becomes more refined by the journey! In the end it’s really not the Dream that changes but our understanding! Happiness is being willing to go with the flow of that change! I am happy to say that the more Jacob accepted what Life was demanding he change then the happier he became! Those changes brought talents and interests out of him he never knew were within! Like Jacob we really have no idea of how happy we can be as long as we insist that our happiness comes in only one model!