She has just found out that she is pregnant.  Being both religious and unmarried she immediately thinks, “I’m going to hell.”  He, oblivious to her distress, decides to surprise her at work and hires someone in a gorilla suit to find her and in the presence of her co-workers sing to the tune of Happy Birthday: “Happy baby to you, happy baby to you…”  When she gets home from work she immediately, and with much venom, tears into him about humiliating her in front of everyone.  He is completely perplexed since he thought that by celebrating the new life that they had created he was doing a good thing  He wonders what signs he missed that caused him to get it so wrong.  He thinks to himself: So this is hell!

Part of being human is to make mistakes, even well-intentioned mistakes.  We sometimes, out of ignorance of what that choice will lead to or create, choose things which are not in our best interests.  It is true that you cannot un-ring a bell: What has happened, has happened and no amount of regret about it can undo the fact that it happened.  Even though we may determine to not make that same mistake again, that determination cannot wipe away the fact that we were once willing to choose what we chose.

A mistake, however, needn’t have the finality of eternal hell.  A mistake is not a wasted choice since the mistake clearly defines for us what we don’t really want, or who and how we don’t want to be.  A mistake is that one footstep too far beyond the edge of the cliff and its usefulness is that we now know where the edge is.  Sometimes we need to make a mistake in order to wake up and ask ourselves: What do I really want?

A mistake does not eliminate the possibility of choosing differently in the future.  If the mistake involved others then we can try to make amends to them, if they will allow it; sometimes they will, but sometimes they would prefer to punish rather than to forgive.  So be it.  The hell of a mistake can actually lead us towards a bit of heaven’s goodness if, by way of becoming more conscious, we remember not only the mistake but more importantly the thinking which influenced the choice of that mistake.

How hot our particular hell is or isn’t is not the point: Is living in a hellish situation really where we want to stay?  Does our particular hell have to be eternal?  Quite often there IS something that we can do about becoming better… which is a little taste of heaven!

Kahuna-pule Kimo

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4 Responses to Hell

  1. Darryl Vernon says:

    Brilliant, Sensei!
    So, the Idiot sends a gorilla to deliver a baby greeting to an unwed mother in front of her co-workers? She needs to send a real gorilla to impregnate HIM! Gee-whillikers!
    Much love, Darryl

  2. Deborah Andrews says:

    I think that when a mistake is made, the best thing to do is step back and evaluate how to create a different reality. A child is never a mistake, but an opportunity to be blessed by God. It is our perception of the child that transforms it into a burden. I have a friend at work that continually laments that he was “forced into his marriage through an unplanned pregnancy” and is always running through his list of possible solutions to this misadventure. He asked me what I thought and I told him that since he loved his child so much I would stay and pray diligently for his marriage. I started praying for his family and changes began to occur. Prayer does truly does change things and the thing that it changes the most is us.

    • A child, a friend, a spouse…
      can be a blessing or a curse,
      depending on how one views the person.
      The same for various situations.
      And prayer can be what shapes how we see them.
      Kahuna-pule Kimo

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